[Rivière]

I think you don't realise how insulting you're being, not just to your friends but to me. I fully understand and respect that you don't like people gifting you things and you've explained that it makes you feel punished but if you dislike people gifting you things, don't gift things to other people. I've been there where I hated people giving me things, I remember the times when I'd physically cry because I hated people giving me things, I had to grow out of it and deal with it. Easier said than done I know but you dont realise how it is for the other person. Imagine how it is for a person who receives a gift from you and is unable to give you anything back. I've been in that position too for over a year. It was awful skimping and saving and being able to buy anyone anything for Christmas or for birthdays because I couldn't afford it and then people end up buying me really expensive things, I felt dreadful and uncomfortable, like I didn't deserve them. Imagine how it is for your friends and for me just by you saying that. You could at leasty try and get over your past issues, instead you seem to want to drown in them. I keep trying and trying but yet again this battle just keeps being lost and I feel like a failure.