Thread: Triggering (Suicide): Text Conversation with my boyfriend.
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Phoenix Knightingale Offline
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Name: Ellie
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Location: Orlando, Florida, USA

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Text Conversation with my boyfriend. - November 9th 2013, 06:28 PM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Andrew (10:16 PM): Miss you already...

Me (11:42 PM): Miss you too

Andrew (12: 48 AM):

Me (1:42 AM): Where the fuck are my meds?

Andrew (1:43 AM): Gone. Not taking chances

Me (1:45 AM): If you threw them away, don't come back here.

Andrew (1:50 AM): You're welcome too... they are not thrown away, just hidden.

Me (1:50 AM): Swear to go. I'm going to kill you when you come back I was going to take a Seroquel to go to sleep when I saw what you've done. I fucking hate you right now.

Andrew (1:53 AM): If you need them I'll tell you... I'm trying to help you.

Me (1:57 AM): Whatever, you don't trust me.

Andrew (1:59 AM): You kinda make me worry... you have threatened and shit.

Me (2:01 AM): I'll start taking them again when you come back then.

Andrew (2:11 AM): I'm sorry

Me (2:12 AM) No. I"m the one who is sorry. You don't deserve to be going through this.

Andrew (2:14 AM): I love you... I signed up for this.

Me (2:15 AM): You shouldn't love someone so crazy.

Andrew (2:17 AM): But I do

Me (2:18 AM): Why? You don't deserve to be going through what I put you through and I don't deserve your love when I've treated you so bad.

Andrew (2:21 AM): cause I love you... nerd!

Me (2:21 AM): sigh

Andrew (2:29 AM): LOL

Me (2:30 AM): I can't sleep

Andrew (2:53 AM): Tylenol PM?

Me (2:57 AM): Won't help.

Andrew (2:58 AM): I'm sorry

Me (3:00 AM): I'll live.

Basically, Andrew; my boyfriend, is out of the apartment this weekend. Earlier this week we got the first eviction notice saying that we owe over $1000 on rent. I'm over whelmed by it all and started thinking that since he would be gone this weekend (Friday-Sunday possibly Monday) it would be the perfect time to finally go ahead and kill myself. Well, I have razors, but I also have high doses of Seroquel, Lithium and Celexa that I could take in one swig and end my life. He hid them, as you saw on the conversation and that pissed me off because like I said in the conversations, I wanted to take one Seroquel and a Lithium so I could sleep. Now I'm alive, but it got me; "he hid my meds... BUT NOT THE RAZORS!"