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Name: Dez
Age: 24
Gender: They/them.
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 19,630
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Join Date: November 16th 2010

Re: Worried about my friend :( - December 29th 2013, 12:16 AM

Hi there,

I think that you need to sit down with your friend and have a serious discussion with her about this. Let her know that you know that she told you once before that the marks were only from the dog, but you know that she has seemed a lot more down lately, and since you have had experience with self harm, you aren't so sure that the marks on her are just from a dog. Explain to her you aren't angry with her but that it can help a lot to have a support system around her during times like this, and that you really are concerned about her. Maybe you can even tell her some of the things that have helped you during this time. Let her know that you understand she may not want a whole lot of people knowing and you will respect that, but you want to at least know she has support.

You're right that if the self harm gets worse, though, you will have to tell someone. Maybe you can speak to someone such as a school counselor if it worsens and even explain the situation that has been going on with her mother and why you are concerned. That way, if you DO have to tell, it can be kept anonymous who told.

In the meantime, you can always ask a guidance counselor or trusted adult for his or her opinion without using names. For example, you can say someone you are close to has been self harming recently, and you just want advice on how to help.

I hope all goes okay!