[FandomDweeb]

I just cut myself today after getting upset with my parents. I have horrible self esteem issues that I cannot get over and honestly I don't think anything in my life has happened that is so bad that it would lead to self harm. I just don't like myself, in fact I hate myself and today when I cut myself I felt as if I was suddenly free. Like me cutting myself was the only thing in life that I could fully control. My parents can be very over bearing and protective but they don't understand me. I have no friends in school and nobody really talks to me. I met a guy online a month ago and he was really nice but he just suddenly stopped talking to me. I know I need to get over it but I just can't. I'm 17 now and I'm going to college soon and I need help but I'm not going to tell my parents. They wouldn't understand. I also try to stop myself from eating and I previously tried to throw up after eating but it never worked out.. I feel like I'm fat and people tell me I'm not but it doesn't help. I just end up feeling worse. Its all my fault though, I know. I need to get over myself. There are people worse off than me. All in all, I just have self esteem issues and I'm keeping all my feeling bottled up and cutting was the only way for me to let it out. It was my first time cutting but I think I'll do it again. Is it all my fault? Am I just doing all of this out of self pity? I need advice.