Thread: Triggering (Abuse): Sexual sadism? I'm really scared
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Name: Sam
Age: 27
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Re: Sexual sadism? I'm really scared - July 31st 2014, 05:21 AM

I think the most important thing here is to recognize that this is a fantasy and be able to separate that from reality. You seem to be doing a decent job of that and it doesn't sound like you have any real desires to bring harm to people you know in your personal life, such as the girl that you have a crush on. Because of that, I don't really see a reason to suppress the fantasies, as long as you do not act on them. Holding onto that mindset will prove extremely helpful to you, as it will help you to center yourself and bring yourself back to reality when you are having sexually sadistic thoughts. As long as it stays a fantasy, it can't cause anyone any harm.

When you are ready to be intimate with someone, this is something that you need to bring up. While it might be a bit of an awkward conversation, it's definitely a necessary one. I'm sure that the last thing you would want would be to scare someone if you started to unconsciously integrate parts of your fantasies into reality. Sometimes, people will be okay with a certain level of BDSM, which is an important thing to learn in situations like this. Also, I would advise you and your future partner to come up with a "safe word" that can be used if things start to get a little too rough. While that might be a long way in the future, it is something that you should think about now, so you are prepared when you do choose to have sex with someone.


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