errr. Ill call you mate since i call everyone mate.
Look mate. Raping and abusing women is wrong. You know that. Im not sure if you heard of BDSM. Thats basically BD (bondage and discipline), DS (dominative and submissive), SM (sadism and masochism). Some Doms are sadists. Hell i think im a sadist. But, its about the act of it. You can be a sadist and have a successful relationship, as long as its in the bedroom and it has its own limits. Ive met masochist girls in the past, and ive met couples where the Dom is a sadist and the submissive is a masochist. All of them work perfectly as long as the sadism and the masochism is "in the bedroom". If you feel like the only thing you feel about girls than you should get some help. I advise you to talk to your therapist as soon as youre home. He/she can help you understand it more.
And besides, they are only fantasies. If you can imagine yourself having sexual intercourse with a girl without raping or abusing her while enjoying it, you should be just fine. ^^