[RadioSerenade]

Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss. The thing you need to understand is that this is a physical incident and not a representation of your capabilities as a mother. I mean if you're religious, I find this to be a test of God of your resolve and you seem to smashing it thus far because if it were me, I would be bananas.

The thing on your side is the fact that you're only 24 and you will have a gazillion chances for conception should you choose to take them. On that note, an important thing to realise is that you cannot rush these things. If you do not feel you are emotionally ready after such a raw and traumatic labour then don't just yet. As I said, you have plenty of time should you decide to try again.

For the depression, I recommend one thing. Talk. Talk to as many people as you can, your parents, your partner, your midwife, your doctor, your sisters, your friends, your support services whom you have around you. Hopefully your personal supporters have no experiences with deaths at delivery, but your doctor and midwife have probably seen it a gazillion times and will be able to support you through immense amounts of experience, and you cannot beat experience.

I wish you all the best .