[Kate*]

You're the ones who said I have options, and he's the only one who didn't insult me. I would love to sit you all down, present you all the information I have about this and make you tell me what options I really have. Maybe then you'll realize I really don't have any. Too bad it'll never happen. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and beat my head against the wall. Even if I accept that it never would've happened (and I'm not sure I have) I have NO IDEA what I'm supposed to do now or what I'm even capable of (pretty much nothing, stupid brain damage). That on top of everything that's come of this, I just can't handle it and if I ever admit that to you all you'll do is think that your profession dodged a serious bullet.

I think it's officially time to find professional help. I know there's no "normal" because this never happens, but I really don't think flashbacks are a good thing. Too bad therapy isn't an option unless I go back for a useless degree.

One thing I hate about it is that I still have a "counselor brain" but I'll never be able to use it for it's intended purpose.

I'm jealous, I should be getting mine about now too, but I never will. I should be mature enough to handle this, but I'm not yet. Until I know what I'm doing instead that I want just as bad I will be jealous and I will want to give up.