[Kate*]

I don't want to guilt trip you, you had no choice, but I'm desperate for guidance from you which I'll probably never get and I need you to know how painful this is.

I think it's official now. I never got what I needed while it would help, I did the best I could to survive and succeed, I white-knuckled for 14 years trying to believe things would get better as they got worse, and everything ended in the ultimate failure and loss of my childhood dream. My life is in shambles, my self-esteem is non-existent, I've been mentally and emotionally abused by people who destroyed my slef-worth because they didn't even try to understand (after they claimed they cared and were trying to "help"), I have no hope left, and I don't see a point in holding on anymore. I just can't. And for God's sake, STOP SAYING THAT! I'm living proof that it isn't always true.