Moon
i think that what you need to do is to think positively, and to not overthink things. I also want you to tell me what really happened. because i get the feeling something triggered your cutting. But that's in the past. I just think that you need someone to rant to, and some positive outlets for your feelings.
For example, you could keep a diary, and you should definitely be honest. And i suggest talking to a counselor or an expert over this matter. There should be some hotlines or some experts around your area that you could talk to. Is there anyone that you can confide in?
Also, another reminder. i'll always be here to support you too. I know how tough it is, but it's also something you can beat. We'll always be here for you.
i don't judge!