[Synæsthesia]

I know that being trans in this world is difficult and awful, and my heart goes out to you. I wish there were some words I could say to make it better...

I'm really glad you have friends who are supportive.

Do you have a primary care physician(doctor)? Because if I were you that's who I'd talk to about HRT. If you don't have a main doctor, there's probably a health center at your university.

I don't know about what your insurance covers or what the process for getting hormones in Ireland is. But I dated a trans girl, so I can tell you what it's like where I live. Her hormones were partially covered by insurance, so they ranged in price from about $25-$40 per month. I've heard how the process for getting on hormones is lengthy, but it took her a surprisingly short time to get her prescription.

It sounds to me like hrt is the next logical step for you, so you should get yourself in to see a doctor. They'll be able to answer any questions you have, and they are required to keep your confidentiality. That way you'll have a better idea of how to get HRT, whether or not you decide to do that now.

You are not ugly or unloveable, I promise.

If you ever need someone to talk to, my inbox is open. <3