[Celyn]

I'm really sorry to hear this. Though it's not your first time, being raped, I think perhaps the trauma of the other rapes have built up and this might be why you feel this rape has affected you the most. Also, if this rape was done by someone you know, that can also make things feel worse.

I think it's really understand that you have been having nightmares about him getting out and coming after you, particularly if he tried to strangle you at school. Are you able to talk to the police or victim support about this? They may be able to help protect you, if you think he would come after you.

After being raped, many people don't like to be touched either. Sometimes, we can tell people who we are close to, that we don't like being touched, and they should respect that. Other times, touching can accidentally happen like in a crowded store. In this case, try to remind yourself that it's accidental, and it meant no harm.

Also, have you had any therapy for what you have been through? You may find it helpful to talk about these things with a trained professional.