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Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Jeez, get a life!
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Name: Holly
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Wales

Posts: 5,781
Blog Entries: 165
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: why do such small things trigger me - July 13th 2016, 02:02 PM

You donít need to apologise for posting. Iím really glad that you were able to get all these feelings out!

Iím sorry to hear that you were sexually assaulted in a place that was supposed to be safe. Iím also sorry to hear about the guy you thought you were friends with. I understand that when someone calls you Ďhotí and Ďprettyí it can be difficult to deal with as they donít seem to take into account that you are more than just a body. And worse, when you are having an anxiety attack, and they donít seem to notice or care. Though this place holds bad memories for you, itís good that it didnít deter you from getting the help you needed.

I totally understand the feeling that once you have a counsellor who you feel okay with, even if there are times when you donít agree, that it feels safer rather than to try and find another counsellor and risk being worse off. Iím wondering if you have told, or would consider telling, your counsellor about why you find the place triggering, i.e. the assault? It may be harder to make progress in therapy if you donít feel safe in the environment and have to resort to SH methods before and after.

Guys calling you Ďcuteí and such are triggering because it reminds you of being sexually assaulted. I feel this way tooÖI donít like guys telling me similar things because my mind automatically assumes they are after one thing. And it is scary. Though not all guys go on to assault, I understand that it may seem like a small thing to get triggered over, but since you have been assaulted, then itís not such a small thing either. Iím really sorry to hear this happened right before a session as well. It mustíve been very unsettling for you. As for the other guy, perhaps he felt disappointed in himself, that he couldnít cheer you up? Though I do understand after feeling triggered, you would just want to be by yourself for a while and cry, perhaps he doesnít understand that? Iím sure he wasnít disappointed in you and I doubt that if you did tell him why you were upset, he would tell you to get over it.

I think when guys are being really flirty, after being assaulted, itís understandable to get triggered. It can be difficult to tell if they are joking or just being really creepy. Itís not nice to go through either. I also think that after experiencing assault, we tend to think differently than those who havenít, so our definitions and explanations for things like rape, may be more down to what we have been through and so itís difficult for others to see where we are coming from. Not to mention thereís unfortunately still a lot of stigma attached to rape and assault anyway, and a lot of people are misinformed, which doesnít help the situation. Iím sorry to hear about the remarkÖit wouldíve brought me down a lot too, especially when letting things build up. I donít know much about safe places, but Iíd like to assume that there are safe places out there, free from all these things. It gives me hope anyway.

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Feel free to PM me! Even if I canít help, Iím always going to listen <3