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The Darkness Offline
Nothing Began Everything
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Name: Raphael
Gender: Nonbinary (They/Them)
Location: California

Posts: 337
Blog Entries: 13
Join Date: February 27th 2010

Therapist isnt listening - April 16th 2017, 09:29 AM

So, last session with my therapist, I felt like he's not listening to me. I feel like he thinks he knows me when we just met in like February or something?
See, I was ranting and raving about the friendship drama (which I feel I only post about here) and he kept saying that I should focus on myself and not care about what others say. That I should bring my self esteem up so it's not hurt by "a pebble". And no matter how much I explain that's not the fuckin issue the issue is that I need to learn how to speak to and deal with these people because there will always be people who want to hurt me. I feel like I don't need to bring up my self esteem. And then, its not like it was some random bully calling me ugly. It was my best friends calling me abusive. And he can't seem to understand how major that is. It's not like they're nobody, they're somebody.
So now he's saying tell me what you want with therapy. What I wanted originally is to get over my traumas so I don't have to be in therapy anymore. But like, I need him to understand now that likability is what gets people through this new age life. You can't succeed without likes. And if someone is spreading rumors that I'm an awful abuser to the entire goddamn group then I lose all my friends. They isolate me! They're the abusers! And my therapist has to understand that. Like having good self esteem won't make me an unstoppable force because no one is like that. It's impossible.
When I told him he's not listening to me he quickly interjects "No I hear you!!" with such swift defense, it makes me wonder if he really is.


THE POINT OF SINGULARITY IS NOTHING AS NOTHING BEGAN EVERYTHING
PULSING IN THE EXPAND CONSUME WITHOUT BARRIER OR BORDER
IT IS DARK BECAUSE IT IS THE DARKNESS IT IS OVER BECAUSE IT IS THE END
THERE IS NO SENTRY BECAUSE NONE DARE APPROACH
IT HAS NEVER BEEN AND IT IS ALL THAT EVER WAS
AT THE CENTER YOU DO NOT FIND THE ANSWER
YOU DO NOT FIND YOURSELF THERE IS NO CENTER AND THERE IS NO YOU THERE IS ONLY MADNESS
WE ARE ALL HERE NOW.
WE ARE ALL HERE.
WE ARE.