[del677]

Thank you for the wonderful explanation. I greatly appreciate it.

I do understand the part about the difference between having a problem and being the problem.

(I recently told a friend recovering from drug addiction, "Don't call yourself a "drug addict", instead call yourself "a person who has a problem with drug addiction". It's the difference between being the problem, and having a problem. If you are a "drug addict", then you are the problem, and there's nothing anyone can do except get rid of you, because you are the problem. On the other hand, if you have a problem, the problem becomes something you can deal with. You can have a problem, and still be a person. The problem can be dealt with.)

Originally Posted by Skyline

what I need is just one or two people who I trust to sit with me and comfort me

This is really good to know. This would be really good to educate others so they know how to react in a helpful way when they see you need help. Educating others in what sort of response will help you can be very helpful to others. Since everyone is different, what one person thinks they would like if they were in your place, might be completely different from what you would like.

There's a book called Wellness Action Recovery Plan (WRAP) which can help with building this type of "educating my support team" in how to best respond and support me when I need it. (https://www.wrapandrecoverybooks.com/store/wrap.html)

So you do OK in very small groups, less than 5 people?

I have noticed the dynamics of a group change when the group is below that size, and also when the group is above 10 people.

Best wishes! Thank you for writing. You write very well.

(I actually find it ironic that I found your story very interesting to read, about how you see yourself as the opposite of interesting!)