Thread: Alone
View Single Post
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount2
Guest
 
DeletedAccount2's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a

Thumbs down Alone - December 15th 2017, 11:10 PM

"being alone shouldn't be something that anyone gets used to"-- I came up with this quote at lunch today... in the library... alone... trying to keep myself company. I am my own best friend but also an enemy at the same time.

Lonesome used to bother me a lot and it caused so much depression in my past. But now I just feel numb to this feeling and it's become such a normal thing that I just don't feel anything at all anymore. I always expect to be this way though. I always meet people and we become best friends but there's always a time when we grow apart and they leave and I search for someone to blame. Did they leave me because of something I may have done? Or are they just stuck up teenagers now? Or do we just not have anything in common anymore? Or am I just afraid of being hurt so I distance myself.

I had this one best friend and she isn't rude to me so at least we don't hate each other. We still talk sometimes but I keep hoping to find a time to tell her the way I feel. Or perhaps it's just time to move on with my life and pursue the things that make me happy.

Being alone at school is so much different from being alone at home because at least I have my guitar and my computer at home. I can write songs, I can dream, I can love, I can learn new things on my own and this is what make me happy. But at school, I'm limited to what I can do and all I focus on is trying to look productive so people don't automatically think of me as a loner. I basically am though.

This is my reality and I feel numb to it so it doesn't hurt the way it used to. I just don't feel anything anymore. I'm alone in all my struggles.