Thread: Triggering: Rape, hurt, and scared.
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Re: Rape, hurt, and scared. - November 20th 2018, 02:15 PM

Hi Destiny. Thank you for sharing your post. We at TeenHelp are all here for you.

First of all I want to say I am so sorry this happened to you. No one deserves what happened to you and it isn't your fault. It's my sincerest hope you don't blame yourself for what happened. I know firsthand how hard it is to be sexually assaulted and then to have it happen again later in life. It creates so much more pain on top the pain you already experienced and it can feel hard to escape it. It sucks, truly.

I can't tell you what to do. You have to decide the best way to approach this, but I do know you don't deserve to suffer more than you already are. This can be a difficult burden to bear alone. Is there anyone you trust that you can tell? I know, for me, when I was raped the second time I couldn't do it alone. I ended up telling some people close to me and they helped me get through it. They kept it from getting worse and ultimately saved me from suicide. Is there anyone like that in your life? I think you're brave for reaching out here, and I hope you continue to do so, but it may help even more if you can talk to someone present in your life.

If you don't want to talk about it that's okay. Everyone processes differently. But I do hope you can give yourself some compassion. It's okay not to know how to handle things right now. It's frustrating as hell, but it doesn't mean you're bad or wrong for not knowing how. Try to take things on in small bits and take lots of breaks when it comes to work. If you don't have the emotional bandwidth to take something on, don't do it. It would be best to be kind to yourself and let yourself heal from this. If other people's problems detract from your healing process it's okay to say you don't want to be a part of it.

As for touch issues, that takes time. It's been years for me and I still have problems with touch every once in a while, but it's much better than it was. It's okay not to want to be touched right now. It's okay not to trust right now. But it will get better as time goes on, especially if you can find someone to process this with, like a therapist. They may be able to offer more specific and concrete help than we can here.

I guess what I am saying is be kind to yourself and be yourself. Meet yourself where you're at, as frustrating as that might be. But you can't rush through this, and there's no easy solution. All you can do is show yourself as much love and kindness as you can, even though that seems like a hugely impossible task at times, especially in the aftermath of assault. But there is something there to love, I promise.

Feel free to PM me if you need anything. I'm here for you.