Hi all.

I was talking with my partner yesterday and she pointed out that my anxiety is out of control and basically ruining my life. I knew I had bad anxiety- I tried to get on medication for it back in July, but the medication my psychiatrist gave me didn't work and I let it go. I realized, though, that my partner is right, and the realization has hit me like a train.

A sample list of my anxieties, to give you an idea:

1) I can't drive a vehicle
2) I'm terrified of flying (a common fear, but still, it's irrationally high)
3) I'm scared to take the bus
4) I can't complete simply household tasks, like dishes or putting away food
5) I have to put my seatbelt on in the car first or something bad will happen
6) I can't be undressed if I'm alone in my own home because someone might commit a crime and blame it on me and I won't have an alibi unless I answer the door and to answer the door I have to be dressed
7) I can't switch my post count in the self-harm free thread to numbers because something bad might happen

The list goes on. Paranoia, superstition, OCD, anxiety- whatever. It's ruling my life and I don't know what to do with it. I texted my psychiatrist but she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I don't even know if medication can help. I'm in therapy but I can't get past this brick wall of anxiety. My therapist always asks what the thoughts are surrounding my anxious feelings but I don't know. All I feel is anxiety. It's just an emotion, I can't parse out the thoughts. And I feel so helpless and lost and small.

Bearing the weight of this realization is making me want to cut again, and that's bad. So help, please? I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop being this way.

Thanks.