[Ennui.]

I know part of this relates to self harm, but I am putting this in mental health because of the overarching theme.

I saw a new person for medication management because I need an adjustment and my primary care provider doesn't feel comfortable doing it. She seems to think I have a trauma because I started self harming when I was in the 8th grade, and according to her people normally start self harming due to some sort of trauma that they're trying to gain control over and repress. She said eventually I should disclose that trauma to my therapist and try to work past it. But, I don't recall any trauma in the 8th grade, so unless I'm severely repressing it, that's not what's going on. I told her this though, so hopefully she won't bring it up again next week.

If she does though, what do I say? I honestly and truly can't think of any trauma I'd have had in the 8th grade. I mean I had a terrible math teacher, but I would assume that was an exacerbation, not a cause. My only trauma at that point was my dad having cancer in the 4th grade, but I didn't self harm until 3-4 years after that. So that can't be it. She said it would have happened in 8th grade.

I was talking with someone and they said there have been instances of mental health providers unintentionally creating false memories of trauma by implying or directly suggesting trauma happened (I used my friend's words, so shout out if they see this ) and I don't want that to happen to me, obviously.

If she brings it up again, what do I tell her? I don't know how I feel about her yet. Her insisting I had trauma kind of made me feel angry for some reason, but then she also started being concerned about my physical health and trying to advocate for me a little with a doctor, which I do appreciate. But I don't want to go through every meeting with her having her imply that there's some sort of trauma or something.