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butterflykisses300 Offline
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Age: 22

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Points: 6,093, Level: 11 Points: 6,093, Level: 11 Points: 6,093, Level: 11
Join Date: May 6th 2018

Paralyzed by anxiety - September 11th 2019, 11:59 PM

Something is so wrong. I don't know how I feel. I'm just going through the motions of life and I don't feel anything. Maybe it is pain. Maybe I'm happy, but I don't know it yet. I don't know. I feel completely numb to the world. I'm exhausted.

I constantly worry about peoples' intentions and I generally don't enjoy talking to people anymore, unless the person makes me feel comfortable. People seem drawn to me, so they decide to make conversation, and all I can think about is how to get away from that social situation. Why would someone want to talk to me?

I live in this fantasy world that my mind creates and it tends to re-write stories of people's lives just to explain the unexplainable. For example, if someone looks at me weird and is on their phone, I imagine that she happens to be part of the "team" that met me online and is there just to purposely make things happen to my life and works with my parents behind my back. It's so overwhelming. i don't trust anyone. My fantasy world is creating so many problems.