[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]TW: Sexual assault, gaslighting

Hello! I am just looking for some advice on how to support someone in my life.

One of my close friends was sexually assaulted at a party a couple of years ago by a member of a fraternity that our organization has a close affiliation with. When it happened, a lot of people blamed her and just felt that she was not a credible source and dismissed her or blamed her for what had happened. Only within the last year or so has it come to light that this guy is a serial rapist and several other women from multiple schools (across multiple states) have come forward with their stories and they all follow the same pattern. This has added to the credibility of my friend's story (though unfortunate that this was how it had to be) and the Title IX office from the school that this guy is from recently reached out to my friend asking if she wanted to proceed with opening a Title IX investigation.

My friend is currently considering opening the investigation, but at the same time has several concerns. She is also aware of another survivor who wanted to open the Title IX investigation but cannot because the state she is from has a statute of limitations of 12 months whereas the state we live in has 15 years. My friend was told the only way the perpetrator will face any kind of ramifications (ie revoking of awards granted by the school) or legal consequences is if there is an investigation either by Title IX or law enforcement (which she is not willing to do, nor does she believe this option will provide any kind of justice or healing for herself.) So Title IX is really the only option -- please do not suggest police interaction in this thread.

She is hesitant for multiple reasons:

1. She isn't confident in the system at all; Title IX has changed too much recently in a way that gives the alleged perpetrator more power than previously. She is also worried that her case wouldn't stand up well for whatever reason, and that his legal counsel will be too strong (he is in the military and I guess they tend to give their people good lawyers? I am not totally sure on this one) compared to hers which would probably be free/whatever legal counsel and advocate she can find through either our school or local community agencies.
2. She doesn't want to involve other people (ie witnesses, anyone who would be subject to cross-examination during the investigation) and survivors who may not be ready to come forward with their stories. I told her, while this is valid, the other survivors don't need to get involved with the investigation. While I am sure their stories would be beneficial to building her case, if they do not want to be involved with it there is no one forcing them to be.

I have offered her my personal support as well as resources to provide free legal counsel but also I feel like she is already giving up before even trying all the options. While I don't want to push her to do something she is not ready for, I do think it would still be beneficial to her own healing and to helping other survivors as well. What would you do in this situation and what else can I do to support my friend no matter what choice she ends up making?[/size]