[Soda_Voxel]

TW: Substance abuse mention (well obviously), brief self harm mention, brief suicide mention


I don't currently struggle with substance abuse but often I imagine myself doing so, as a coping mechanism (albeit a very unhealthy one). Sometimes I wish I could do drugs or alcohol, just as a way to escape from how I feel. Of course I know this is an awful idea. I guess I just get so desperate that I'll find any way to stop feeling how I do. I'll imagine myself taking drugs (though not really any particular ones, I don't really know much about them) or drinking lots of alcohol (I've never drunk in my life aside from a few sips and I'm below my country's legal age to drink without parental guidance) - I know it's bad. There are people who would give anything to stop that kind of behaviour, and yet here I am, desperately wishing it upon myself because I don't have any healthy ways to cope that work for me. Other coping mechanisms I imagine are imagining myself self harming, or even attempting suicide (sometimes I imagine myself being rescued from suicide, too). I hope this isn't insensitive to anyone who does really struggle with any of this, I promise that isn't my intent - I've just been imagining this kind of thing and it's bothering me.