[Silvan]

I am unfit to living with people. I’m worthless. I’m useless. They have to invest a lot of money, time and nerves for my therapy, and what do I give back? Spending even more money and time and destroying mental health of everybody around. It is just not worth it. One day I will lead my mother to neurosis or depression. I’m not worth living and being cared for. I only consume money and time and I don’t give anything back. No effects of therapy, I don’t work, I won’t even pass studies. Whatever I touch, I break. I wish my mother couldn’t see immediately when I’m not right. I hear her cry afterwards. I’m guilty for all this. Father should suffer as much as she does. But he knows nothing. He only appears when he needs something of me. I would like to simply disappear. Poof! Like a soap bubble. No consequences, no traces of my existence. Everybody would be healthier and better. And I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.