[Kate*]

I've literally been through it all.
Been gaslit
Been backstabbed
Had my reputation destroyed with lies
Been told only good things until I almost failed
Been told only bad things until I almost killed myself
Been told I would damage people by existing in their presence
Been made to believe my disability made me broken
Been told I would never be good enough
Been told it's all my own fault

So, excuse me if I have no realistic frame of reference whatsoever for my capabilities or performance in a job I've never done before.

I don't think I've been more frustrated with my own brain in my life, and I KNOW it's getting on your nerves, even if you never show it. But, it's not going as well as you're saying. It can't be, and if I believe it is, I'm only going to be blindsided. So, I'm going to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, hope your personalities don't do a 180 the second we open, and try to let the good things you're telling me heal some of this that I thought I was over..