[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I finished high school three years ago. Since then, I have started three faculties on three different universities. Each time after attending for a couple weeks my depression had got so much worse that I had started skipping all the classes and then given up. I had serious suicidal thoughts/plans and afterwards it took months of doubled dose of medicine to stabilise my mental health.

When I was at school I was always one of the best students. I attended a prestigious junior high school and then went to the best high school in the country, but I changed high schools after half a year because I couldn't stand the pressure from my classmates and teachers.

Still I'd never had any problems with studying, got very good marks, everybody in my family has a degree. I had never imagined I would drop out of university three times.

I am so embarrassed before myself, my family and my friends. I avoid meeting my school friends, because all of them will finish university this year, and I'm so ashamed to talk about my failure. Same goes for family. Christmas is coming and again I will have to answer questions when I'm planning to finally finish university and why I haven't done so yet.

I've been doing psychotherapy and medicine for years now. It's not changing much. I feel like my chance has passed. I had three chances to finish university at a reasonable age. I know you're gonna say some people study when they're 50. Sure, sure. Yet as I have tried three times, three totally different faculties, three totally different universities, I know I'm just never gonna finish any university. I'll just stay as I am. The worthless one in a group of school friends. The worthless one in the family.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]