[Ennui.]

Hey,

I'm moving your thread to Relationships & Dating because it fits better there.

I think it's okay if you tell your friend about this if you feel safe to do so. You don't have to explain too much about it. You can say something like "I wanted to tell you something and be honest with you. I have had feelings for your brother for a while. I know that he has a crush on someone else and I will respect that, but I thought you should know how I feel about him." Your friend may have questions or comments for you, but hopefully she will react well to the news.

You said you can't tell your parents because you're not that close and that's definitely okay, but what about an aunt or cousin that you trust, if you're close to them? Or, is there a teacher you can talk to after school about this? Some of them are really good at giving advice and have seen or heard about what you're going through from other teenagers that they've worked with during their careers.

It's great that you have a diary to vent in too though! Writing things out can be really useful and may even be able to help you figure things out, such as the pros and cons of telling someone about this or even help you clearly think about what do do about the feelings you have for Peter.

I hope things go well if you do tell your friend!