[Ennui.]

Hey,

This definitely sounds difficult to deal with!

The thing I worry about is if you are a minor, any type of video can be considered child pornography. It's good that you don't show your face, but there's still the risk of it being traced back to you. There's the risk of them taking screenshots. Even if you are an adult, it can become addictive to go on these websites, which sounds like what's happening to you.

There are apps out there that allow you to block certain sites as well, so maybe that's something you can look into. When you try to go onto the site you won't be able to access it anymore, and that may serve as a reminder that you don't want to be doing this type of activity anymore.

Do you have a doctor that you can talk to about feeling addicted to doing this? They may be able to provide some suggestions, and they're not there to yell at you or judge you. They've seen a lot!

Is there anything else you can do to channel your sexual energy so you don't feel the need to do this? For example, intense exercise is one way to release pent up energy into something positive. You can also do something to distract yourself like playing an exciting video game, dancing to music, or doing art. I think the important thing is trying to find a safe distraction or outlet that works for you.

You can do this!
Dez