[Proud90sKid]

Literally everyone I known for longer than a couple months has thought I am on the autism spectrum. From people I have worked with to people at bars that I hang out at. I played a dice game with someone today for like an hour and when last call came around and we were kicked out, I asked her why a particular server at another bar does not like me. She told me that everyone thinks I am a "bit different" but that she can tell that I am "on the spectrum" and that may be why. She offered to talk to this bartender about this for me (in her words: that she would buy me some drinks and that would establish to this bartender who is only there once a week that I am liked), which I refused as I don't want someone to go out of their way for me. I have watched TV shows like "love on the spectrum" and immediately feel that I must be misdiagnosed as I am not as severe as people on those shows. However, people in real life tell me that I am for sure on the spectrum. They don't say this in a mean way. Usually they are very endearing about it. However, I don't want this to be obvious to other people. It seems that everyone I am around somehow knows even though I don't disclose my diagnosis. How can I improve my ability to mask? To me, I convince myself that my diagnosis was incorrect, but then I hear things like this that establish that I may actually have this issue. I have even had a couple psychologists say I am not on the spectrum but also I have seen those who say I am without any room for doubt. Those who say I am not do not seem to have the same knowledge of autism as those who say that I am. Two of those who said that I am actually specialize in autism.

I have heard that some people are so good at masking that they cannot get diagnosed. What is the secret? It would greatly help my employment prospects if I were able to do this.Honestly, I have difficulty empathizing with "hyper-maskers" who are able to come across as neurotypical but don't show any social impairment. I would go as far to say that I think they are merely sub-clinical and not really "masking it".