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Hey,

I'm sorry you're going through that but it's great that you were honest with people about what was going on.

I will say that trying to kill yourself in a hospital is hard. If they catch you, there's a possibility you'll be put on a one on one. That means that someone has to be with you at all times, even when you are sleeping. They follow you to your room, to the common areas, everywhere. I've even had people lose privileges to their clothing in the past and they've had to wear just an open-back paper gown and their underwear. I'm sure you don't want that to happen!

Maybe you can make a deal with the therapist that you'll at least try the new program and see how it goes before doing anything dangerous. BUT if the therapists of any of the programs think that you are at risk of harming yourself, they will still have to send you to the ER. I just strongly encourage you to give the new program a try before you attempt suicide, because there's the possibility that it can really help.

Your boyfriend is going about things the wrong way, and I'm sorry about it. It's not healthy that he's threatening to break up with you over this. That just adds more pressure and more triggers. Do you think you could sit down with him and talk to him about things that would actually help you? If you're in a relationship with someone it's important that they are someone you can talk to about what is going on and get support. If he's not that type of person, maybe this relationship isn't a good idea.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Take care,
Dez