[Ballsack]

This probably happens because in my most formative years, I think that was when I was 9 through 15, I just assumed I'm going to get kicked out when my parents found out I'm trans. And because I already assumed that, every waking moment feels terrifying because I always thought "is this the day?". I even attempted to find people that would allow me to crash at their place, and sad thing is until now I couldn't find anyone. All in all I was super paranoid.

I'm not sure what happened but when I was 16 it's like all of the sudden they dissappeared. Not completely, some depression and anxiety definitely rise up from time to time, but I know it wasn't as bad as it used to be, and even when it is it's not as frequent so I'm sure I'll be fine. But the odd part is, I couldn't remember much of what happen in those dark years. I, of course, knew the vague outline

but I couldn't remember exact details. Like I know I used to lock myself in my room for days but I couldn't remember if I ever go out to eat or even drink. It's odd and concerning but I accepted that maybe it's for the best that I forgot most of what happens