Ugh, here we go again. I'm back on these boards...ranting about my problems with my boyfriend
. This situation is pretty confusing for me, so I could really use some advice. This is a little long, but please bear with me. I really need some advice, please...
Yesterday, my bf came over to my house after he got off of work. Okay, as soon as he pulls up, he has this total smart-ass attitude. He was being a total butt to me, but he was trying to act like he's just kidding around about it. He was purposely trying to push my buttons. Well, the night before, (tuesday) we had a great night...but when we were on the phone later tuesday night, he said "i have a lot on my mind". Well, this "lot on his mind" was about his ex. Surprise, surprise. He was talking about his ex who he was with for nearly 3 years...(this was about 3 or 4 years ago, when they broke up --waay long before we knew each other). Anyway, he said these exact words "Because I gave her 3 years of my life, I will always have strong feelings for her."
I sat there thinking 'what the hell am I supposed to say to that?' But He's said this sooo many times before. But the way he said it last night...hurt me so bad. I've told him a million times that I DO NOT want to hear about his ex-girlfriends
unless it's a life or death situation in which I MUST know. I understand that it was "on his mind" but the message that sends to me is that he still thinks about her in a LONGING kinda way. Which is exactly the way he was saying it. Anyway, he knows I don't want to hear about them...especially HER because they were together for so long. They haven't spoken in more than 2 or 3 years, so why in the hell is he still thinking about her?!
--Am I in the wrong for being upset about this??? About him bringing HER up, saying AGAIN that he will always have strong feelings for her? When I've repeatedly told him I don't wanna hear it?
And another thing he said in that little story about her. After he said all that about his "feelings for her" and blah blah, he obviously saw that I was uspet. So he tried to joke around...and just made things so much worse.
He actually said "SHE had boobs".
(He "jokes" around with me a lot, because I'm pretty small in that dept. It's really annoying and hurtful). But he actually compared me to her
in THAT WAY. That was a slap in the face. That really hurt...that one actually brought tears to my eyes. That's not the worst of it...this was a few months ago, when we first got together. He actually showed me pictures of her on his computer....zooming in on her boob size and was like "that's was D's look like". I thought I was going to die, right then and there. That was in the really early stage of our relationship, so I didnt have the spine to say anything to hm, but I KNOW he could tell I DID NOT LIKE seeing that!!!!!!!!! Why in the hell would he think (even then) that I would want to be compared to his "precious" ex??
Ugh, I feel like strangling him (not literally, of course) but I am so angry. He's trying to make me out to be the big, bad, green-eyed monster of jealousy. Yes, I admit I am a jealous person, but the look on his face and the tone of his voice when he talkes about HER....is like a knife in my heart. What am I supposed to do?
I barely got to talk to him about this today, because I had to work, and when I called him back after he got off of work, he didn't talk long cause he had to go eat w/ his parents. And he's like "I'll call you back in a few"....yeah, that turned into 5 hours later. So obviously, he knows I'm pissed. Anyway, we did kinda talk about it, but as soon as I brought it up, he was all "All I do is screw up everything" His pity party. Like always.
And when I did get to say part of what I wanted to say a while ago on the phone, he was trying to brush it off...."why are you worried about it?" and he was trying to be all like "I Just had it on my mind." Even though I've asked him a million times not to talk to me about them!!!!!!! Ugh. He didn't even apologize for hurting me by his bringing that up, nor did he TRY to see or understand my side of things. It was all "I just had it on my mind" It's not just as cut and dried as all that.
Anyway, am I in the wrong for being like that? For having a problem with him comparing me to her, and for him telling me for the upteenth time that he will always have strong feelings for her?
What am I supposed to do?