[Ballsack]

Sometimes I feel like my skin itches and I want to slice it open with a editedor something, but everytime I cut myself it just feels so dissapointing. To me, a editedis too smooth to feel even remotely satisfying. The only way I could satisfy my need to hurt myself is by edited or getting beat up, but I'm a pretty big guy and also a pacifist so nobody really sees the reason to beat me up.

There's a lot of reason why I would want to hurt myself, but weirdly none of them is because I want to die. When I feel so happy I could just jump out of my skin I would try to scratch away at my own flesh as if trying to escape. But usually I feel like I'm too big for this body and I need to escape this flesh. Though lately I haven't been doing any physical self harm stuff because if I cut I'll just feel dissapointed because it's just not enough.

I don't know why I've been feeling so inhuman lately. I feel so detached from my own body. It's not necessarily distressing to me though, but it's been making me really irritated. It's like when you're trying to close an overstuffed bag but because it's overstuffed you can't close it and getting another bag to put the other belongings isn't an option either so you just have to be pissed off and try to zip up the stupid bag. It's annoying, it's overstimulating, it's under stimulating, I'm so annoyed and yet I don't care. What the fuck