[thezomtord]

I get downvoted to hell if I say this on Reddit and stuff, but I've always had a problem with relationships, maybe it's my autism, maybe not, who knows? But I've always been too "intense" and called crazy or yandere. I'm only 15 years old. I need to discuss with a professional, but here are some things I wrote.

"I'm gonna get professional help and find out what's wrong. It'll be hard though since I have autism and I'm a teen and I heard they don't diagnose autistic teens but a person who hates me said that so IDK if I can accept his comments as fact or not, we used to be friends until he started hurting me and being rude.

Anyway, IDK what it could be but I do have problems. If you come here to damage my self-esteem, please don't, but you can share your experiences. I already acknowledge I'm a bad person.

I do respect her boundaries, but I also feel like I can't form a connection with her. She says we're friends, but people have said she wants nothing to do with me and that she's "just being nice", especially since she's an art account who doesn't want to look bad for her fans or whatever. IDK how true that is, but she never knows what to say when I talk to her, but then again she wants me to make art for her, so that means she doesn't hate me, right?

I feel like a disgusting creep like I've been called my whole life by people for being too intense and clingy. I'm insanely obsessive, no joke. And at first, I felt rejected and decided I wouldn't talk to her, but I've calmed down and I'm too attached to cut contact entirely. She said I could message her but not every day and that she'd tell me if she didn't wanna talk.

I know it's not her fault, probably not mine, maybe it is, so why do I feel so bad?? Or maybe, why DID I since I'm better now? We're friends regardless, right? She didn't just outright ghost me and call me names."

Why do I both posting on Reddit anymore? No one interacts and I just get downvoted and whatnot. Not even people with the disorder I think I have bother to sympathize and share their story...