I'm sorry to here that you're feeling down at the moment.
But I hope you know that even if it seems impossible; you are
strong enough to get through this, you can
Is there anyone close to you that you can trust: a family friend or teacher?
Mabey write them a letter about how your feeling or print this thread off;
either way they'll be glad that you came to them - you shouldn't have to go through things alone.
Also, have you tried the Alternative Thread?
If these don't work for you, let me know and I'm willing to find one that suits you.
& Take care.