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Tonight Offline
Average Joe
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Age: 27
Gender: Female

Posts: 132
Join Date: January 10th 2009

Overwhelming Medical Problems - May 29th 2009, 05:47 AM

I am so sick of doctors and sick of being "sick"!

I have a sleeping disorder that I've been dealing with since I was 12,it screwed up my entire life.I had to drop out of school and things became really rough between my dad and I,and after my step-brother died he stopped contact with me untill recently.

And now my sleep disorder has changed into insomnia,really bad insomnia.It gets to the point where I won't sleep for 4 or 5 nights and have psychotic breaks(hearing screaming,seeing things that aren't there).

I went to my sleep specialist yesterday...he did nothing.He thinks the insomnia might be caused by depression and wants me to go to this stupid research group thing.Basically it's research on how mood disorders and stuff mess up sleep and there are 3 sub-groups in itnes who are treated with councelling,ones who are treated by medication and ones who are treated by both.It's completely free for me which is great but I'd have to have sleep study tests done which I hate and it stresses me out and I don't even sleep anyways so they wouldn't get any information untill I did ( Iwent for a sleep study test awhile ago and I didn't sleep for the 2 nights there and I had to rebook and go through it all over again because they couldn't get any data unless I was asleep).Also I have to stop smoking pot,which normally wouldn't be a big deal but there is so much other shit going on that I kinda need a break for a bit and pot helps to do that.I know that sounds bad,it's not like I need it but I'd prefer not to stop smoking it right now.So ya that also means I can't get into the research group untill the pot is out of my system which the sleep specialist thinks will be 6 weeks (for good measure).

That's six weeks of hardly any sleep.I go for days without sleep and then I start hearing stuff and I'll usually fall asleep for a few hours,if not then I go another night and start seeing things and then my mom gives me some gravol and diazepam,but unfortunatly the diazepam can be addictive so my mom will only give it to me if I start seeing things.

On top of all that I've been having constant pelvic cramping with flair ups and extremely heavy periods for the past 2 years and no doctor can figure it out.The pain has gotten to the point where I can't really run around with my friends without coming home doubled over in pain.And since the gynocologist has dropped me as a patient I have to find another one.Unfortunatly I have way too much on my plate right now to even find a family doctor never mind a gynocologist.

Sorry this is so long I just kidna had to rant.

You wonder why I never smile anymore,but with broken homes come broken smiles.

Has the acidic rain burned a hole so deep,that we don't care what's beneath our feet?

I'm a freak and my best friend is a pirate-ninja-dinosaur,what a unique friendship!

My heart is so numb,that I can't feel it breaking