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BeautifulIrishDisaster Offline
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Name: Kaleigh
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Missouri

Posts: 80
Join Date: February 10th 2009

Re: Extreme Paranoia & Overbearing Jealousy - June 6th 2009, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by lvpeyton View Post
i have no idea why i am like this, but my exes, (both) said that i needed to get help and go to a psycologist, so i did. i went, and they didn't help me with that, at all.
now i am in this rut where i don't even want to have a boyfriend because i don't want to torture them and make them think i am crazy, even though i probably am.

i wish i could block it out, but i really can't. when i try to block it out, i can't. i just bottle up all these assumptions and fears that i feel until one day i explode and it is worse that i held it in. then people tell you to just to the person about it, but they get mad. eventually the boyfriend starts to get pissed off and in my mind it is because they are doing something wrong, but maybe they are just annoyed cause i keep asking the same damn questions over and over again. i would love to be able to block it out, but i have this fear that somebody is just going to hurt me and i NEED to know sooner than later because the more i care about that person the more it is going to hurt if they betray me. i just wish that people could not lie about things that really mattered.
I totally agree with you on that. If they didn't lie, we probably wouldn't act this way. It's crazy that you're going through the same thing. I felt like I was all alone in this. I just feel like there is no way to fix it and that I'm just a horrible spouse. It mainly happens with me too when I'm in a relationship. I guess I'm just so scared that I will lose that person that I do whatever I can to prevent it. But my way of preventing bad occurances is definately backfiring on me. It's really disappointing.