Hi Lil. I'm so sorry you're struggling with this. Do you have anyone you can talk to? It must be really difficult for you so talking to someone would really be beneficial...maybe you can come up with trigger points that will trigger you into a mood where you feel vulnerable and less in control, and perhaps work on trying to avoid them or using other methods to cope with these strong emotions?
I'm really not of much help sorry
, but i hope that you WILL find the strength to overcome this; with help of course as i am aware struggling alone is never the way forward. Just think about how happy you will be once you come through the other side of this...not having to give a second thought to food which does not need to be ruling your life. I'm also aware this is easier said than done but try to be brave; try to focus on your ultimate goals in life - whether that be starting a family or achieving the career you desire...do you really want to let this stand in your way?
Maybe you should work on eating food in small amounts - don't try to eat a meal all in one go as the sight of this can be very off-putting. Just nibble on bits throughout the day and work on keeping them down. Slowly increase the food intake until you can handle regular amounts again. Keep trying, you CAN and WILL do this! <3