Thread: Triggering (Suicide): So sick.
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haleyad1 Offline
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So sick. - August 11th 2009, 03:46 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm really sick of trying to live life.

Every day I curl up into a ball on my floor and just cry. Life sucks so bad. I hate being sober/clean and I hate not cutting. I miss being able to push back all my feelings. I wish the drugs had killed me. Anything would be better than this. Nobody wants me. All I think about now is wishing that I had OD-ed back when I was still doing drugs. Now that I have "control" over my situation I don't have an excuse to feel bad. I miss being able to lean against my so-called friends when I needed someone to help me out. Now I can't trust any of them and I don't know who to turn to. Ideas keep popping into my head on how to kill myself. I could cut my wrists all the way and finish the job I started when I first started cutting. I could swollow those pills sitting in my bathroom. I could go run out into traffic. I'm so scared that eventually I'm going to give into temptation. I... feel like I'm suffocating.

"This is your time to weep, This is your time to mourn, Not yet time to build up, Just a time to tear down old walls." -Between the Trees

"And I'll never second guess all the things that I have done. I've got too much to say, and too much to become." - Alex Gaskarth

Stop The Bleeding
Rescue Is Possible
Love Is The Movement
~To Write Love On Her Arms~
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