So, hi everyone, it's me, Harriet, some of you know me already.
So I posted a thread a while ago about how I failed and I couldn't resist the urge and got some really supportive replies, thanks so much. So this isn't gonna be so much a lament for my situation, more that I'm a bit confused.
So here goes: Basically, I was just at this summer camp for 2 weeks, and I just got back. It was really intensive, (it's like this ancient Greek Summer School thing) and it really knocked my confidence while I was there, also I had no access to this website (which has been my ROCK for the past month- thank you guys all so much). So picture me, stuck in the middle of nowhere with no-one to talk about my issues, getting more and more miserable as I realised how clever everyone was and feeling a bit meh in general.
This doesn't sound too bad, really, does it? And I know that, I mean, I know I overreacted but last week it all got a bit much, I was rejected by this guy who said he liked me but then got off with my friend, I had to lie to my parents and say how well everything was going while I watched my dreams being crushed and my parents were arguing more than ever. So last week I overdosed on painkillers, not wanting to cut myself...I didn't want to kill myself (at least I don't think so) just go to sleep for a really long time (I'm an insomniac too) and then spent the rest of the time self harming whenever I needed to, especially when I was drunk - more of a fail than ever.
So now, I'm home, and I have to go to Cornwall in a few days with my family and go to the beach, wear a short sleeves etc, showing to the world the scars which I have been so careful to avoid over the last few months - great. So I just....well I didn't know what to do, and coming here always makes me feel better, I froze up again in s&a
in chat so I thought if I just got it out here it would make me feel better.
Thanks so much if you've taken the time to read this far and sorry to take up your time.