End of the line -
August 21st 2009, 07:15 PM
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My life seems to be falling apart, a couple months ago I had to leave my job because I was depressed and couldn't work safely there. Over the past few weeks my life has been downhill, last night I completely flipped out on my best friend after I cut again for the fist time in years, she didn't know how to take that, I felt really bad really bad for doing that and felt like ending my life. I ended up wraping a belt around my neck but I was to afraid to do anything, this morning I tried to sufficate myself with a garbage bag and that same belt wraped around my neck so air couldn't get in, I freaked out when the air was gone from the bag and ripped it off, I tried it again trying to be more calm so I might suceed but again freaked out and ripped it off. I'm don't know what to do. I want to tell my friend (the one I fliped out on) but I don't want to hurt her, she gets really upset when I tell her these kind of things... I just... I never cut since I've known her and certainly never tried to kill myself, part of me just wants to disapear so I wont hurt her again, the other part knows she wants me here and that would hurt her more then anything. I don't know what to do, I need to talk to someone.