[amystery]

Stop trying to "do the right thing". You're making things worse for me not better. I appreciate that you're a sweet person and want to help but I don't want your help! I feel as though you want to change me. I don't like the person you see me as but if you keep pushing I'll push back. I'm not some charity case so stop treating me like one. Think I need to spend more time talking with people in person? Then be that person! Knock on my door and chat...don't try and get me to knock on someone elses door.

Stop bringing up the topic of church! Its starting to get to me. I feel as though I'm disappointing you every time you ask me and I have to say no I didn't go to church. I know going to church every week is a big deal to you and I understand that..but stop asking I feel horrible for not going. Ps: If you asked me to go with you I'd be there every single week but I'm not about to ask the girls when they're going just so I can go with them

Basically what I wish I could tell you is...if you ask me to do something with you or make that effort I will do it and I will become more social by doing so. But I just can't seem to make myself take that step to be the first one to knock on their doors.

You've had the biggest impact on my life over these last few weeks..you've made me happy, sad, more confident, want to cut, and smile when I was crying. You don't know this but I wish you did. Maybe then you'd see more than the shy, awkward girl...