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JackOffJill Offline
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Name: Karyn
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut

Posts: 399
Blog Entries: 22
Join Date: October 26th 2009

Re: i really need some advice. i'm tired of being scared. - October 29th 2009, 01:52 PM

I really wish that I had some advice for you. I really do. But what I can tell you is that if you are screwed up (which i dont think you are) then I am in the same boat as you. I also have created my own world that I kinda live in, I lie about things a lot too. I think part of it is human nature and how our brains work. Its called self-justification. Like if you make a mistake, you make an excuse to justify that you were not wrong- its how people can be ok with themselves. So i think that part of it isnt anything wrong (personally).
I understand what you are saying about doing things without being able to stop yourself. I get that way too. For me, its like I am floating above my body- I see everything that Im doing but its like my brain isnt connected and I cant stop myself even if I dont like what Im doing. I also push people away- I have an amazing bf who I am lucky to have. He knows this about me so he knows that if I say that I want him to leave me or anything like that, that he needs to wait for me to basically come out of it before actually doing it because I dont actually want him to go. But I know how hard it is to push people away. I dont have any friends anymore besides my bf. It really is very difficult and it sound like you are having a very tough time with it. Like I said, I wish i had some advice but other than for you to know that someone else has similar experiences I dont know what else to say. I just want you to know that you arent alone, I really relate to what you are experiencing. If you ever need to talk to anyone, you can always message me.
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