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charmbraceletxo Offline
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Nonexistent sex drive :[ - January 23rd 2009, 02:41 PM

I'm not sure if whether or not this is the appropriate place to be posting this, but here goes nothing. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 14 months now, and we used to have an incredible sex life. We lost out virginities together, and througout the first...I'd say....7 or 8 months, he really enjoyed having sex [at least on a weekly basis]. He used to text me and ask for sexually provocative pictures, tell me how hot I am, fondle my body, and ultimately make me feel very good. He used to take the initiative to explore my body [and I, his--which I've continued to do], and was really interested in experimenting with different positions, foreplay, etc., etc. Now, it seems that, for whatever reason, he's no longer interested in sex--at all! I love him so much, and I really enjoy[ed] the intimate/emotional nature of love making--even just a good, hard f*ck would be nice once in a while...but now, whenever we DO have sex, it's usually in the backseat of his car with me on top and him practically lulling off to sleep. I always end up giving him a blow job, and he goes crazy over that [practically screams my name with his legs shaking], but I can't understand how/why he's lost his desire to have intercourse. It really frustrates/saddens me because I feel like he doesn't take any interest in my body anymore :[ He'll jokingly call me a sex addict, which, yes, it humorous to a point--but I hate feeling like the guy during sex :[ He's VERY insecure about his body...he continually refers to himself as "fat a$$", etc., etc...and he almost took laxatives last night because he felt so terrible about the way he looks :[ I always try to, essentially, help him understand/see how incredibly attractive and sexy he is. He isn't unattractive or fat in the least--if anything, he's larger boned...which I absolutely love! It makes me feel nice and petite However, his parents are constantly on him about his weight [they're overachievers--both doctors from Russia]. It just makes him feel like the scum of the earth, and it hurts me deeply...and really, you can't give something that you don't have...he can't make me feel good if he doesn't feel good about himself...you know? Perhaps I'm being a bit critical/selfish in this post, but I can't help but to deeply miss the intimate connectivity between us. Last night he suggested that we not have sex for a month so that he could work out and lose weight...and I almost cried. Please don't get me wrong, sex isn't [or rather, wasn't] the focal point of our relationship...but I felt that it deeply strengthened our bond, and now that rarely occurs, I feel a void...

I can't exactly discuss this with him, as I don't want to make him feel inadequate as a sexual partner...his self-esteem is already pretty low, and I'd rather not make him feel any worse...

Is there anything I can do to help him a) feel more confident and realize how sexy and wonderful he truly is, and b) get our sex life back on track?


Please help :[
I'm going to be spending some time with him later on in the evening, and I'd like to utilize all/any of the suggestions/advice that you guys have :]


Thanks! And I apologize for the lengthy nature of this post, LOL.


“It’s weird, like, you can see the cruelest part of the world...the cruelest part…
but then on the other side you see the most beautiful part, you know?
It’s like you go from one extreme to the next…and they’re both worth it
because you wouldn’t see the other without the other one…
but that cruel part is damn cruel, and you’ll never forget it.
But that Heaven is Heaven…so it’s like,
I’ve been to both places."



[Britney
Spears]