I've been here a while
Location: New Zealand
Join Date: October 5th 2009
Re: I want to be beautiful. -
January 6th 2010, 06:52 AM
Im sorry to hear about this, having an ED isnt fun for anyone.
And no, when we first start to develop symtoms of an ED, we never think that it will get any worse.
Im sure you are aware of what purging does to your stomach, throat and teeth, so I am not going to lecture you on that because I know that getting told by people to "JUST STOP DOING IT" doesn't quite work.
It's good that you understand what is making you feel as though you need to do this to yourself. And its not unusual for you to want to be beautiful and to want to have control over something. I am the same way. At the moment I feel that no one likes me and that they always look at me thinking I am ugly, I felt like my life was coming to a point where nothing good happened and that I couldnt do anything, having this ED gave me something to focus on, and I could control this, and I was 'good' at it.
People are going to notice. And the best way to deal with it is just be honest. They are just worried about you thats all.
And don't blame yourself if your sister stops eating again. That will make it 10x worse for you.
I think going to see a doctor or a psychologist would be good for you. As you can talk about how your feeling in confidence.