Re: im such an idiot. -
January 24th 2010, 11:05 PM
Don't beat yourself up about not going to a funeral. Some people consider it a way to gain closure and say goodbye to their loved ones, but not everyone is comfortable with that and it's certainly not the only way to prove that you loved that person and miss them. Everyone grieves differently, so don't feel like you should have to do the things other people do or feel the way other people feel. Love is something that never dies and even when you lose a loved one, you can still feel that love. I lost my grandmother in July and there are random moments where I have a feeling that just shoots through me and I know it's her love, and that's something I will never be without. The same goes for you.
It's perfectly okay to be upset. It's also okay to be angry or have regrets and wonder if you could have done things differently. Losing people you love is such a hard thing to deal with, but you have to let yourself feel your feelings. Don't try to stop them or hide them. But also, you have to let yourself smile again and be happy. That's what Cass and Melissa would want if they were with you...and they are with you.
Aš tave myliu, Nanny. I'm carrying your love with me.