Thread: Triggering (Suicide): The Curtain Closes on life
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foreveralone Offline
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Exclamation The Curtain Closes on life - February 15th 2010, 07:25 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i have struggled with depression for years now, and have tried to kill myself 5 times now, and I have a pretty good feeling today will be the final 6th. I have spent the past 4 days alone. depressed, anxious (GAD) and more than anything suicidal. I have tried the hotlines, but im sick of the indifference of people. im poor, i have to move soon, im still in high school and i live by myself, i have no friends, i have been to the hospital 17 times in the past 9 months, they refuse to serve me, and the other nearset hospital is a 40 min drive and like i siad im poor and i dont drive, i only get to eat once a day (if) and i can not aford even 3 bucks for the bus. i take my meds and i am sick of trugling, and even if i call 911 here, they take me to the hospital (the cops didnt bleve me last time than thay apologized, cause i told them as soon as i get there, they fill out the forms saying they know i came in then they discharge me and say there is nothing they can do. im sick of the pain the loneleiness, and being hated by people who don even know me. i was in crutches and someone from a car yelled at me to walk faster faggot (which i am cursed with being gay too) so yeah, im done, a hand full of pills, cut myself some more (lots of scrs on my left arm) and sad music will be my meal today, and perhaps i will finally bee inin pese