[Jen]

Dani,

It definitely sounds like anxiety and panic to me. I used to get panic attacks similar to what you're describing, and it's just what you said--in the moment, it feels like you're dying and your life is over, but after, you can calm down and realize it was just panic and anxiety.

Have you ever talked to anyone about this? It sounds like you'd really benefit from some counseling. Medication is also something that a doctor could talk with you about. I REALLY want to encourage you to reach out to a parent or other adult, who can get you to a doctor to talk about this. I promise you it's worth it.

When you feel yourself start to panic, make sure you keep your eyes open. Plant your feet firmly on the ground and literally say (out loud!) "STOP". Tell yourself to stop letting panic overtake you. It's sometimes helpful to talk it through out loud--I used to keep a running dialogue with myself and say things like, "You are fine. It's just a panic attack. It's not going to kill you. You're safe and okay. Breathe." Keep breathing, keep yourself as calm as possible, focus on a calming thought or mantra (like, "I am safe"). Reach out to someone in the moment if that's helpful, too.

Hang in there, Dani. Don't hesitate to PM me if you want to talk more about it!
<3