Hey Alice,
I'm really sorry that your father treated you and your family like this. All men are not evil, some just tend to act the way. It doesn't really matter what you call it, it was still wrong, and yes it does sound like abuse. No one has the right to hit you and leave bruises, and no parent should treat their child like that.
I know how hard it can be to trust men again, but you can do it. You already took steps in that direction, you have guy friends. That in itself is hard to do, especially since guys play rather rough.
Have you tried talking to your mum about it, or even a counselor? Let someone know that it still effects you, and that you are scared of men.You don't have to do this alone, let them help you.You might also want to talk to her boyfriend/husband in the end, because he can help you become more comfortable around him, and he can help you and your sister adjust to having a
good man in the house.
Take care, and feel free to
pm me if you need anything.