[jamie.leigh]

read the whole story before you reply, please.

i like to go to the gym. most people would go 3 times a week or less, but i go every single day, for an hour to an hour and a half each time, and i work myself into a sweat. i see people in the gym just SOAKED with sweat, drippin all over the machines and the floor and its just nasty, but i go there and i work on my stomach and legs. ive never been fully satisfied with my body, and i have lifted weights for prolonged periods of time in the past, and i gained a LOT of muscle, which added to my weight. i wear size [edited] jeans, and i weigh [edited] (last time i checked, before i got my membership again). i used to do 120 with my arms on the rowing machine, and 430 with the leg press machine, so my arms and legs are pretty big. now, i'm going to lose the extra fat i have, about [edited] fat on the BMI, last time i checked. ive been trying to eat a lot of fruit and not much meat or bread, and sometimes i even eat a teaspoon of uncooked rice when im hungry, which swells in my stomach and works as an appetite suppressant. like a cheap diet pill.
also, i used to be a drug addict, shooting up morphine, smoking meth, and drinking large quantities of alcohol daily. i used to shoot up morphine at least ten times a day, and morphine is like endorphins, which doing strenuous exercise can release naturally in the body. is what im doing healthy dieting if i only eat the uncooked rice once in a while, and still eat a normal meal every day and go to the gym and burn off [edited] calories a day, or could i have found a new self-destructing addiction?