[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey there,

The way you are feeling, like some of the others had said, is normal. I knew since I was about 12 or 13 that I wanted kids. I used to fantasize about it. What the baby would look like, if it would be a girl or a boy, what I would name it and on and on. However, I know/knew that any child that I have I want to be able to give a good life.

I would want to be able to provide my child with financial stability and emotional stability. I knew that if I were to have a child when I was not ready financially as well as emotionally I would not be able to be the type of parent that I know I can be.

I still dream of having kids and sometimes I feel as if my 'biological clock is ticking' or I feel like I am ready but then I think things over and I realize I am not. The thing that keeps me holding on is the fact that the ability to have kids will be there for quite a while. Also, knowing that if I wait a while until I have financial security I will be able to provide for my child more.

Another thing I think about is the fact that I am young (just like you) and I am at a point in life where I want to have fun. I need to have fun. And, I know that if I were to have a child now I would resent the fact that I cannot/did not get the ability to have fun. Have time for just me. And, the thing to remember is the moment you have kids you have there is no room to be selfish really. I mean you can still have you time but at the end of the day the child is going to stomp that.

I know you might be at a point where you think that you don't want to have fun or whatever. But, it will come on you. I know that my wanting to have fun stage did not come upon me until the end of last year.

So, enjoy life with just you and your boyfriend and your friends. Have fun. Take care of one another. Get to know each other even more than you do. Have fun as a couple and then make that decision. Live out your dreams and then fulfill that last dream of having a child.

I know sometimes the longing can be killer but it will happen. A child will come into your life but I am sure you will be much happier if you wait until you have all the things that will help ensure your child is happy. And, your child's happiness is always going to be the most important thing.

Best of luck and if you ever want to chat feel free to pm me.

Jenna